The past is in the past start Anew!
by Anime S-J
Summary: Ritsu is still hung about his past love in America and could not seem to forget about it. Takano,still being persistent is trying to make him fall in love again. However there are some obstruction between their love. Will Takano find out about his past love? Will Ristu be able to accpet Takano again?
1. Chapter 1

**Just to clear misconception. Ritsu DID fall in love with Takano during High-school FIRST. When he left for America, he was heartbroken and decided not to fall in love again. However, One guy was able to change that. He started to fall for him,little by little but an ACCIDENT happened and he return to Japan shortly after it happen.**

**Just another story. Hope its better than the previous one. ENJOY:)**

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CHAPTER 1

As each day went by, Ritsu is getting more confused. "_Do I still have feelings for HIM?_" It was a question he thought everyday. "I_ know I still have feelings for him but..._" He tried to immerse himself with loads of work to forget about this. Eveything was cramp in that tiny brain. He felt that he was about to break down. It was hard enough being a manga editor since this is the first time he is doing it , what's more he had to deal with all these feelings for his boss. He was on the verge of tears but he would never let it show. He didn't want people to think that he is weak.

It was already past midnight and he was the only one left in the building. Even his boss has gone home."_Lucky he has gone home if not I would have to deal with him again._" Ritsu let out a sigh of relief.

The sun expired to envelope the world in street was deserted, there was not a single soul out there. Many would be scared to walk alone in the dark however Ritsu was not bother by was nothing compared to what he had been through. That was like eternal darkness, the feeling of loneliness, never ending.

Ritsu was walking along the deserted street while checking his phone. He noticed that he marked tomorrow as an important day on his calendar. He just could not remember but he knows that its important. Couldn't remember, he just cast the thought aside.

As the train station has already close about few hours ago, he took a longer way home. As he passed by the empty streets, the sweet scent from the sakura trees engulfed him. It feels so nostalgic as if he was at the same place again and his mind just sort of lets go of everything and feels all tingly and outdated like looking at old vintage things.

Upon reaching his door step, he remembered. All those horrible thoughts appear again. Tears trickling down his cheeks. The blank, emotionless expression swept over his face as the realization of the moment gradually seeped in. The fear seemed to rise behind his eyes. Paralyzed by the tragic feeling of loneliness,he gently whispered to himself, "_Haitani!_ ."

Too immerse in his thoughts, he didn't notice his boss was outside, moreover, waiting for him. Takano got shocked by the sight of it. "What happened? " Takano asked, concern about him. Rubbing away his tears, "Its nothing. I'm okay, thanks for your concern. " He pushed Takano away but to no avail. Takano just pulled him in and kiss him passionately.

" Stop! Stop this!" He tried to say in between moans. When Takano finally let go, Ritsu step back and broke down. "Stop doing this! I have had enough of this. Do you even consider how I feel?!" Before Takano could reply, Ritsu started again. " No! You never! You only did what you wanted! Ritsu shouted. Takano look with eyes opening as wide as an ocean. He has always tease him before but had never seen him this angry. Takano step forward to hold him but was slapped away by him. " Don't touch me! You don't have the rights! You don't even know anything about me and you say you love me?! Don't be ridiculous!" Ritsu let out a small laugh.

Leaving a astonish Takano outside the corridor, Ritsu ran inside his apartment and started crying his heart out. He could not hold back any longer, remembering all those things in the past had made him fall apart again. It was so unbearable, the images of the past keep flashing through his mind. Those were the most happy moments of his life and he wish it could stay that way forever however in reality not all would have a fairytale ending. And unfortunately, he was not the lucky ones.

He hated himself, how he wish he was the one that could leave this world. If he could go back in time, he could have stop it from happening. It took him a long time to forgot about him but now it seems that he is back to square one.

" Haitani! Haitani, why did you leave?!" Ritsu cried out. " I..if..., if...I could. .s...stop..." His tears just kept flowing like a broken tap. He shivered as fear took over him. His shiny amour that once protected him is now starting to fall apart. Slowly he's letting his emotions get the best of him.

For the rest of the night , he just sat there crying himself to sleep. Thinking about those sweet moments with Haitani.

Meanwhile outside at the corridor, Takano was taken aback by Ritsu sudden break down. He wanted to go and comfort him but he knows that it would just cause him more grief. So a wise choice was to just let him be alone until he has calm down. It hurts him to watch His Ritsu being so sad but could not do anything about it .

**NEXT DAY**

Morning arrived sooner than the anyone have expected. Takano went through another round of his morning routine before embarking on his journey to work. He wanted to knock on his neighbour's door to see whether his Ritsu has heal from yesterday's break down however a call cut through his thoughts. " What do you want so early in the morning?! Yokozawa." It was Yokozawa on the phone, he wanted to remind the raven to buy the rose for HIM before coming to work. And so he went off without waking the brunette, thinking that he is probably asleep. "_He should be in office before I go to work._" Takano thought.

However, what Takano did not know was that Ritsu had already gone out even before the break of dawn.

**IN THE EMERALD DEPARTMENT**

Takano has just came to work with a fresh bouquet of flowers in his hands. No one questioned him as they knew who it was for and did not really want Takano to remember those bad memories.

Takano noticed that Onodera's seat was empty so he questioned the others," Have anyone of you saw Onodera?" "Nope. Maybe he's out with his girlfriend~." Kisa san joke. This irritates Takano to the core. " He wouldn't dare!" He thought. "I just heard that his has taken a day off." Hatori strolled in and said.

" _He's still..._" Mino cut off his thoughts. "Takano san did you know what happened to him. You know, he has been acting very weirdly recently." "No. I don't. " Takano lied, knowing that he must be the cause. "But that never happened before when I tease him. Maybe I have cross the line this time. I'll drop by later to check on him. " Takano cast the thought aside and went back to his work.

**AFTER WORK**

"You ready?" Yokazawa appeared out of no where and asked. " Give me a sec." Takano gathered his things and dumped it into his bag. " The faster I get this done with ,the faster I can go home." "Where's He?" Takano didn't need to asked who he refers to. "Day off" Takano reply bluntly. "You gave it?" "Would never." The conversation died off as they walked towards their destination.

As the moonlight casts its eerie shadow on the path that lie ahead, the two went in the huge patch of land labelled, "GRAVEYARD".The fog hangs on the stones of the dead like a heavy, suffocating sheath, casting a relentless misery on all who trespass through it as death welcomes them breath by breath. The deafening silence is pierce through by the shrieks of blackened crows. The tomb stones were neatly align in a straight row, one after another. These stones of cold withering cement witnessing the tears of laughter, and tears of guilt awaiting every shadow's lament.

It didn't took them long to find thy one, like they always did. However, upon reaching, a black figure kneeled there ,with cries filling the air.


	2. Chapter 2

**So here is Chap 2, I actually had it for quite awhile now.  
****I have re-uploaded Chap 1 as I forgot to put the thoughts in italics.**

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CHAPTER 2

RITSU

FLASHBACK- MORNING

Ritsu spent the whole night crying. And now his eyes are red, swollen and dry from all the crying. He woke up way before the break of dawn. Sleeping will just lead to more undesirable memories.

He took a quick bathe, took his sweater and took off. Everyone was still asleep and the corridor was very quite that you could hear a pin drop,even muffling the slightest sound.

He went to the flower shop to get Him some flowers. "_He loves roses and tulips._" As he walked through the lifeless streets, he began to think about the happy times that they spent together. Before he knew it tears were already rolling down "_Baka!_" he scolded himself. Even though he had scolded himself, he could not stop himself from crying while reviewing about the past .

Soon, he has reached his "loved" one. As the sun began to slowly rise, the darkness was lifted. The winds was blowing, the trees were swaying from left to right while the leaves was rustling, making the landscape so magical. However our brunet was not in wonderland, he was at the graveyard standing beside Him. Normally people would just put down the flowers and pray before leaving however our dear brunet was not intending to leave any time soon.

"How many years has gone?" He paused. "8 years?..." Tears stream his cheeks. Like fountains his eyes filled with tears. His eyes started to swell with tears of sorrow. Gasping and sniffling. " I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I wish I could have stop it. Sorry!" Ritsu just kept on apologising. But after a while he stopped. "I guess its no use. I can't bring you back now can I?" He let out a small laugh.

"All these years I have been so lonely. After you left me , my world envolpe in darkness once again. Shadow chasing for me. Running towards what seems like never ending darkness. I can't get out. I'm scared. I don't like this feeling of being lonely." "Pl...please... come back . Please!" Ritsu cried, like a helpless child stranded on a deserted island.

Even though he knew that HE won't ever come back, a part of him stills trying his best to believe. "If one believe hard enough, it may happen." But seriously have a dead been revive before. He had never once forget HIM but he also could not forget the other. They meant so much to him. He hated himself for being so fickle minded, hurting all those around him. "You should have led a better life if not for me and he should too." He said feeling remorse. Now that one of them is no longer here, would he crave for him now? Like what he done 8 years ago and hurt the other? Was he selfish for being like this?

Yes, most people would say. But no one understand a broken heart. After being hurt once by someone you truly love,you'll go crazy, not being your normal self, trying your best to change yourself for that person. Isn't that right?Love is when somebody gives you a shoulder to cry on. Love is somebody makes you laugh when you're sad. Love is when you miss someone whenever they are gone. Love is whenever you see that person you feel glad. You want them to smile. You would work extra just to be with that person. Even if it would be just for a while. Love is unconditional, that's the when someone there to lend you a shoulder, you'll definitely take it and make that person think you have fallen for him and now he'll try his best to make you his. Yet, you don't really love him...

Onodera Ritsu was one of them. But now after HE has left, he crave for HIM? "You never realize how important someone is in your life. Or the role that person plays in modelling you to that good nature. All this you'll realize when they are gone from you." He didn't knew what to do know. Should he move on or Will he be Able to move on? Love is hard to find, hard to keep, hard to forget. The real question is Who did he really love?

He was scared to move on because every time he was with someone it was either him or the other guy that got hurt. Was he born to jinx people? He wanted know his ending, will he be able to love again or...

But no one will ever know their own endings, life is like a never ending book, full of surprises, happiness, sadness and many other feelings. He hated himself for this.

"_So what? Feeling miserable, remorseful can bring him back?_" A voice chanted within him. "Y_ou should move on! Takano is still waiting! Do you want to hurt another person again!_" The voice just kept on continuing. "I_ don't... but how am I supposed to love him again and how am I supposed to forget him!" He cried out. Useless._ " You already know the answer my dear."

So the brunet sat on and kept on talking. Time really flies when you do not notice. Soon the azure blue sky change into a dark and gloomy sky.

The brunet got tired and looked at his watch. He didn't realise how late it was, he better have a good explanation for Takano for not going to work. He was gathering his things ready to make a move however, he hear footsteps coming his way... Louder and louder as the figures got closer and closer...

He stop his crying as THEY approach.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just a short story. I can't seem to think of anything to write. **

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CHAPTER 3

"Wanna go for a drink later." The grumpy bear spoke. "No.I still got things to do." Takano answered monotonously.

Upon hearing the conversation, Ritsu mouth slightly open and his eyes stare wide open at the coming figures which he pretty much knew who it was. His heart skiped a beat. Pain. Suffering. "No!" He still refused to face reality. In a blink of an eye, Ritsu shifted himself as they close in the gap. "Why are they here?" From what he remembered, today was only 'Haitani's day' , unless...

He quickly hid himself.

BINGO! He really guess it. They were here for him too. Looks of disbelief was all written over his face. "_H...how... can...that be!? WHO IS HE TO HIM!?"_ Anger burn within him.(who was haitani to takano) He was jealous of a dead man. How childish could he be? But...how could we forget what he had been through. Getting heartbroken rounds after rounds, yet his feeling still doesn't fade away. It only gets stronger.

"Haitani...its been a while." They spoke in unison. They sat the flowers down. But of course they would have seen the flowers that Ritsu brought. And it was exactly the Same! They wondered who would have visited. Haitani had neither friends nor relatives, furthermore his parents had already died so... _"Who did he knew then? Someone in Australia? Someone he loved?"_ Takano cast the thought aside, it was not really his business has no concerns for this he is to busy wooing back his beloved, who is VERY stubborn.

"Looks like someone came to visit you. Sorry for not coming these few years. Our works were piling up." Yokozawa spoke in a soft voice, bearly audible. Ritsu felt a sense of remose coming from him.

_"What's going on?"_ Endless questions startes to form._ "What were their connections."_ Ritsu tired to eavesdrop.

"I...I..." Words just couldn't come out. Takano placed a hand on Yokozawa's shoulder to comfort him. "What's done is already the past, let it go." This led to more questions that Ritsu wanted to know. Haitani used to be part of his life so he deserves to know. _"But its none of my concern...right?"_ Ritsu battled against himself.

Just when he wants to lean in to hear more of the conversation, he slipped on a branch, making him fall and hit the ground. "Who's there?" Takano questioned immediately. He glared at the area where the noise was coming from. Ritsu knew that he could not hide anymore so he might as well reveal himself. He rose from the ground and made himself visible once more.

"Onodera!" Takano would recognise that figure even if the brunet was turned into ashes. However, not a second after he rose up, his vision went blur, his head was spinning, his legs were trembling uncontrollably, soon he fainted.

"ONODERA!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for not updating all my works for so long. I'm sorry to let you guys wait for so long(if you are waiting for it).  
I'll try to upload "I love you NEVER" last chapter as soon as possible.  
Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

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CHAPTER 4

RITSU P.O.V  
As morning approaches, I awakened. I shielded my eyes against the glare of the sun. _"When did I got home?"_ I found that it was amiss. "_I remembered that I went to the grave for the whole day then...Takano and Yokozawa came by and..."_ My thoughts were cut through by a sudden headache. _"Aww... my head hurts"_ _"Why can't I never remember those important things."_ I wonder what's wrong with me? I cracked my brains to see if I could remember a fragment of what had happened last night but I was interpreted by a knock from the door.

_"Who could that be? Who would be able to come into my home?"_ Said person invited himself in, holding onto a tray with a bowl of hot piping porridge. "Ta...kano?!" I was surprised. "Are you feeling better already?" He placed his big warm hand on my forehead but was immediately slapped away by me. "Why are you here?" I questioned. "So...you don't remember..." I saw a smirk on his face, his eyes were laughing too. I instantly stood up to check. _"Phew!" "Lucky my clothes are still on."_ "Did you think about THAT?" He chuckled. "You...you did it on purpose!" "It's you who is having dirty thoughts." He stated.

"So... why are you here anyway?" I continued. "You really don't remember." "No" "I just..." I stopped myself half way. I was not sure if it was right for me to continue so he just skipped. "Anyway I just don't remember so can you please tell me"

"You collapsed at the graveyard yesterday. So I carried you to my house." Takano sat the tray down and move in closer toward me. His brown eyes stared right at my emerald orbs. This make me flinched and move back a little. "So... I was wondering why were not at work yesterday? And why were you at the graveyard yesterday?" Takano asked in a stern tone. "I..." _"How should I answer?"_ I started to panic. _"I can't just tell him that I was visiting Haitani right? Still...he deserves to know...since he is my boss... But...this is my personal life, why must I report it to him?"_ "Besides why were you at the graveyard with Yokozawa?" Ops I accidentally said it out loud.

"Yokozawa?" Takano repeated. "Er...never mind it was nothing. Nothing at all!" Ritsu blushed as he shook his head furiously. "So...you want to know eh...Someone getting jealous..." Takano famous smirk came back. "W...w...who.. would get jealous!" I huffed back. "You can don't say it if you don't want to! You don't have to make fun of me ! " "So...are you admitting that you are in love with me?" His smirk never died down. "WHAT?! Since when did I ever said that! Haven't I already told you that I will never loved you again." I felt my face burned. I must be red like an octopus by now. "Fine. I'll stop teasing you now. If you really want to know. We were visiting a friend." "A friend?" "Yes Haitani Shin. He's our friend back in college." _"So Haitani knew Takano too..."_ I started to space out but was pulled back by Takano.

"Earth to Ritsu!...Ritsu!... RITSU!" "You don't have to shout you know!"

"So back to my question, what were you doing there and not at work." _"I thought that he had forgotten about that."_ I sighed.

_"Should I say that I was visiting Haitani too? But if I don't, he'll surely know that I am lying."_ I thought for few minutes before answering his question. "I was also visiting a friend, a very important one." I started to feel down as I said it.

TAKANO P.O.V  
At that point, jealousy crept in. "_Who could be that important?!"_ Then I realised that how childish I was. Being jealous over a dead person? I knew I was a possessive person but not to this point right? Having seen him once again, really have a huge impact on me. But I still couldn't stopped thinking about it. "_Was it before our relationship or after it? Was it someone he met in America? What was their relationship? Classmates? Friends? Or...lovers?..."_ The thought of them being lovers made me furious once again. I know that it was the past but the fact that they may be lovers, I just can't accept it. **HIS MINE!** Past, present and future! **ALL MINE!** No one can take him away! I am the only one that is allowed to have him! _"Then are they really lovers..."_

_" Who could that person be?" _Takano thought really hard._ "Then again, yesterday was only Haitani death day so why was he there?...Unless...they knew each other?"_ That was the only explanation right?

"Onodera." I sounded strict. "Y..yes." He gulped. "Do you know who is Haitani Shin?" My eyes never left him. I stared into his emerald orbs to look for answers. "I...I don't know who you're talking about." He lied. Why did he even need to lie. Is there something he couldn't tell me? Why must you lied.

RITSU P.O.V  
I could see that he saw through me. Sadness swirl through his eyes. Somehow, I felt sad too, but I don't know why._ "Why did I lied? I too wanted to know."_ _"Was I afraid of hurting him by letting him know that Haitani and I had a past together?"_ Questions was racing through my mind but I could not answer any of them. I was just too jaded. When did I even became like this? At that, it brings me back to all the happy memories I had when I was a child. A young and innocent boy. Guess I really had changed over the years. Who knew? Nobody knew that I would end up in this state.

TAKANO'S P.O.V  
"Let's stop with all the questions." "Come on, I have cooked some porridge for you. I'm sure that you haven't even eaten your dinner yesterday." I could do nothing about it.

RITSU'S P.O.V  
He changed the subject. _"Actually I haven't even eaten my breakfast since yesterday."_ I know that he would definitely blow up so I kept it a secret. I slowly sipped the hot porridge in front of me.

"It's delicious." I spoke to break the silence. "I'm glad you like it." Takano smiled. He really smiled. The smile was warm like sun, it almost melt me away. I blushed yet again. _"What?! No! What the hell am I thinking!"_ _"Onodera Ritsu you must never fall in love again! And of course not with the same person!"_ I really must wake up and not be devour by love. I wonder if I can uphold it or not.

Bit by bit he is warming up to him. Bit by bit he is being more concerned about him. Bit by bit he is relying more on him. And bit by bit, he is falling in love with him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Finally had time to post this chapter. It took me quite a while to write out Ritsu's emotions. Hope you enjoy!**

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CHAPTER 5

It was a usual day in the Emerald department. They have just finished "hell week". "Finally! It's over!" Kisa let out a sighed. "Yea~ finally." Ritsu dragged through his speech.

"Good work, everyone! You guys can pack up and head home for today! I want you guys to be in by 11 in the morning tomorrow for clean up!" Takano rose from his chair and announced. Although he was dead tired, Kisa was the first one to jump off his chair to start packing.

"Bye! See you guys tomorrow! " Kisa cheered happily as he walked towards the elevator. _"What is he so happy about?"_ Ritsu wondered. After Kisa left, Mino and Hatori soon followed.

_"I guess I'll go home as well."_ Ritsu chucked his manuscripts into his bag and bid Takano goodbye. Seconds after the brunet went off, Takano did the same. Takano was chasing after Ritsu. He followed him around quietly as he watched after him like a mother would to her child. 10 years ago, it was the brunet who was stalking him. 10 years later, he was stalking the brunet.

The brunet went into the convenience store and brought dinner again ._ "Doesn't he knows that eating that is not good for his health? I already said that I would prepare meals for him. Why can't he just confess that he still love me? Why is it that hard?"_ Takano sighed as he continued eyeing on his lover.

Unfortunately for Takano, the passengers waiting for the train had already been dispersed as it was near midnight. Ritsu might just have spotted him if he weren't using his phone. From the side,Takano peek over the pillar and saw that Ritsu was busy texting away. He felt relief because the brunet did not notice him yet anger replaced it as he didn't knew who he was texting. Getting jealous over the smallest things. Takano was clutching onto his bag that his knuckles turned white. The fact that Ritsu was smiling away while using his phone had Takano gone mad and is literally biting lower lips with hazel brown eyes burning on flames. _"He never smile at me this way!"_ (There can never be too much jealousy.)

The waiting time for the train decreased . 3 more minutes. 2 more minutes. 1 more minute. The next thing that came was not what both of them have expected.

The train zoom past Ritsu. The sudden gushed of wind made Ritsu took a step back. His bangs flew and covered his eyes partially.

Doors opened. A crowd of people rushed out at an amazing speed. Ritsu was waiting for the passengers to alight before boarding. He waited patiently for his turn to board.

He lifted his head while preparing to board the train. He opened his eyes and his emerald orbs widen. His heart stopped at the sight. Face paled. Lips quivered. Whole body was trembling as if there was an earthquake. "It...it...ca...can't be..." He repeated numerous times. He couldn't believe what he saw. They were too similar! How could that be?! It was like they were craved out from the same wood._ "Impossible! Impossible!"_ (He continued to disregard the fact.) _"No one in this world would ever look so much alike! How?! How?! Who is he? Who?"_ He stood there as fear immobilized him. He didn't know how to react and how he should feel. Delighted or petrified? Out of nowhere tears starts flowing down as memories starts to kick into his brain. He still couldn't understand his own feelings but there was a hint of sadness mix into all the emotions that surrounded him. When he had finally settle down and wanted to call out to him, the person had vanished. He was frantically scanning through the area to search for him but it was all in vain.

Lost in his search, Ritsu was grabbed by his arm and dragged into the train. Feeling the strong jerk, Ritsu snapped out of reality and shouted. " **Let go of me!** I need to find Haitani!" Ritsu broke free and tried to get out but was too late as the doors was already closed. Yet he didn't gave up,he just kept screaming out and went hysterical. Passengers sitting down and standing near him were all alarmed by his actions. They did not stared at him long as they all afraid that Ritsu would harm them so they avoided looking at the guy as much as possible. On the other hand Takano tried his best to clam the brunet down but to no success. Ritsu just continued to be a lunatic. Finally, without any warning, he gave way and fainted. Luckily his "lover" caught him just in the nick of time before he hits the floor.

Now that Ritsu has passed out, everyone in the train have reverted back to their peaceful self. Takano carefully place the burnet down and let his arms acts as a cushion for the brunet to rest.

While the brunet was sleeping soundly,our raven was deep in thought. _"He was shouting for Haitani just now. How did they know each other? What was their relationship? Why was Ritsu so desperate?"_ He couldn't stop being anxious about their own relationship and Ritsu and Haitani's relationship. He was afraid that he would lose Ritsu once again. Throughout the ride, anxiety took over his emotions. Nothing matter more than his precious one. He would die if he would to lose his dear one again.


End file.
